Marriage is such a big deal in so many ways! Some might think of it as the greatest joy in life, while others look at it as a life sentence. Tonight, I am watching the final episode of the Bachelor. Please don’t judge me, I have no answers for why I am so engaged in this drama, but I am. I do question however, how two people, after only dating for two months can make the forever commitment to each other?
In the beginning, everyone truly believes it will be their ‘happily-ever-after’, dreaming of an eternity of love, roses and merry sunshine. However, as we all know, sometimes life can get turned upside down and inside out. Happily ever after is just not in the cards. I truly believe that the secret to a good marriage is; a big dash of chemistry, a pinch and splash of kindness, lots of respect – a whole lot of commitment and daily work.
Becoming vulnerable, offering someone your whole heart can be very scary business. My parents are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year. They have had their up and downs, but they come for a generation that believes, “if something is broken, you fix it, you don’t throw it into trash.” In today’s society we are so used to instant results and constant stimulation, we need immediate gratification. When we don’t get it, we are quick to hit the eject button, instead of nurturing, watering, pulling the weeds, taking care of our special flower. When we do nurture it daily, the flower grows tall, strong and can weather any storm.
Sometimes, we can get fixated, on the negative 20% in the relationship, tending to forget the 80% that is oh, so very good. It can be easy to forget, what attracted you to your partner in the first place. We must remind ourselves to be kinder to each other, going out of our way to show our appreciation to our better half.
I think a great marriage can be the best thing ever. I love being married and would feel lost without my husband. If you have more good days than bad, you laugh a lot together, you honestly think your spouse is smart cookie, you have a deep respect for each other, then you know you’re on the path to your happily ever after.
As the years pass and beauty starts to fade, it really is about two souls that find each other intellectually stimulating, funny, someone you can really count on, that is loyal to you. If you can weather sickness, growing pains, lack of money, teenagers, different cultures, families; the list can go on and on. You know you can do anything you set your mind to, as two can is far easier than one can.
I hope as your reading this you stop and remember why you fell in love with your sweetheart. If you happen to be having a rough patch, hunker down, do more weed pulling, watering, pampering your special flower. I promise you it will bloom again. All you need to do is give it tender loving care, every day, sit back and watch the beauty come to life.
Homework: Plan an unbelievable surprise date for your love. Pull out all the bells and whistles, show them with action instead of words, how much you love them and how important they are to you. You will never regret it.
Rhonda Zarate is a REALTOR/LIFESTYLE COACH. To book a consultation with her, she can be found at email@example.com or her Facebook Blog “Rhonda Zarate Lifestyle.”